


tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease - csnivison - "songfic"

by americanaspacecadet



Series: GoopCast / Lunch Club One Off Fics [6]
Category: Lunch Club, SMPLive
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, I'm back baby, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Song fic, motels and caves, vivid imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanaspacecadet/pseuds/americanaspacecadet
Summary: heaven /ˈhevən/noun"a place, state, or experience of supreme bliss."--song used:EASE (Lontalius Remix) - Troye Sivan ft. Broods
Relationships: Jschlatt/Noah | Hugbox (Implied), Ted Nivison/Cooper Schulz
Series: GoopCast / Lunch Club One Off Fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556836
Comments: 15
Kudos: 74





	tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease - csnivison - "songfic"

_i'm down to my skin and bone_

_and my mommy, she can't put down the phone_

_and stop asking how i'm doing all alone, alone_

“i’m sorry i didn’t pick up sooner - ”

he winces when he pulls the phone from his ear, his mother’s anger still audible from a distance.

“look, momma, i’ve been driving for the last seventeen hours. i barely reached the border of california from colorado without passing out at the wheel. can i _please_ call you back later? i’m exhausted.”

his mother sighs. “fine, teddy. but don’t you dare forget!”

“yes momma. i love you.”

she replies, and he hangs up afterwards. tossing his phone in the passenger seat, he flicks on his signal before switching to the exit lane, and follows the trail to los angeles.

_but the truth is the stars are falling, ma_

_and the wolves are out calling, ma_

_and my home has never felt this far_

cooper fidgets nervously in his room, pacing back at forth between his bed, his desk, and the door.

“you’re making too big of a deal about this, dude.”

the blond jumps when travis appears in his door, eyebrows raised.

“ted’s just coming to live in the house, just like the rest of us. what’s the issue?”

cooper rolls the phrase around in his head, drawing the sleeves of his hoodie up over his hands.

“well, y’know,” cooper starts, a too-sharp joking tone to his voice. “if i told you, i’d have to kill you!”

travis finally enters the room, shutting cooper’s door behind himself. he sits down at cooper’s desk, and motions for cooper to sit on his bed.

“seriously, dude,” travis murmurs, locking eyes with cooper. “i’m your best friend. please don’t hide anything from me.”

cooper’s eyes fill with tears, and travis is hugging him before he can blink.

“you like ted, don’t you?”

the blond nods, burying his face in the brunet’s neck and wrapping his arms around the latter’s shoulders.

“what gave it away?” he murmurs, voice muffled by travis’ hoodie.

“do you want me to really call you out?”

cooper laughs, pulling away from his best friend and wiping his eyes. he messes with the strings of his own hoodie, thinking for a moment.

“how am i gonna do this?”

“just be yourself, dude,” travis teases. “ted’s kinda dumb when it comes to romantic stuff. i think you’ll be okay.”

_but all this driving_

_is driving me crazy_

_and all this moving_

_is proving to get the best of me_

“ted!”

the tall brunet turns quickly, narrowing his eyes to shield them from the glittering california sun. he grins when carson finally comes into view, wrapping an arm around the man’s shoulders and squeezing.

“how was the drive?”

ted groans. “i have never wanted to get out of a car more, dude. although, there were a few places i stopped at along the way i wouldn’t mind stopping at again.”

carson nods, peeking around ted to look into his car.

“wanna go get the others? it’ll make moving stuff easier.”

ted nods, sharing one more hug with carson before jogging into the house. he takes a look around, following the sounds of shouts and insults.

“you _motherfucker_! i had b covered!”

“covered with your thick dumpy, maybe,” noah snorts, elbowing cooper’s side. “quit daydreaming and start shooting, crackass.”

“you’re one to talk, garden state,” cooper retorts, flicking his hair from his eyes with a simple flip of his head. “legend says you were born in a crack den under the turnpike.”

noah snarls playfully, tossing his controller before tacking cooper into the couch.

“how dare you insult the pot-holed beauty of new jersey!”

“you do it all the time!”

“ _i lived there, it’s my privilege!_ ”

ted clears his throat, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. noah and cooper peek up from the back of the couch, two _very_ different expressions on their faces.

“ted’s here!” noah shouts, pushing off of cooper before launching over the back of the couch. “how was the drive?”

“i hated it,” ted grumbles, a smiling worming onto his face when noah hugs him. “you wanna help me move in?”

“surely,” noah says, and looks back towards cooper, who is still very much frozen in place. “c’mon, scoop! quit gawking! big man’s prolly exhausted.”

cooper swallows roughly, nodding meekly before clambering off of the couch. he fights the urge to melt into ted’s side when ted wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a warm hug.

“so, mr. golden state,” ted starts, leading cooper towards the front door. “tell me what i should look forward to in this so-called, _cally-for-knee-ah_.”

cooper laughs, pushing against ted as they walk. “well, you got your big cities, skateparks, boardwalks, hollywood, the walk of fame, redwoods, deserts, beaches - ”

“okay okay, but do you have the _fun_ kind of beaches?”

cooper raises an eyebrow. “fun kind?”

“yeah,” ted smiles, dropping his voice to a purr. “ _nude_ beaches.”

were it not for ted’s arm over cooper’s shoulders, he probably would’ve missed the last step on the front landing.

_and i've been trying to hide it_

_but lately_

_every time i think i'm better_

_pickin' my head up, getting nowhere_

“i think ted’s flirting with me.”

noah raises an eyebrow, a spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth.

“explain?”

cooper puts his face in his hands, inhaling deeply before releasing a strangled scream-groan.

“right, right, okay. and tell me how you’re going to deal with this?”

“i can’t!” cooper snaps, eyes widening at how loud his voice had become. he reins himself in after a moment. “it’s bullshit, and i hate it. ted _knows_ i’m gay. and _i_ know he’s straight. he’s just doing it because he likes fucking with me.”

“how can you be sure he’s straight?”

“dating history, his personality - ”

“oh, come _on_ ,” noah groans, pushing his bowl away. “dude has good fashion taste, brags about his milk knowledge, was in theatre and an a cappella group, has a scarily good taste in music, _and_ is a photographer? are you fucking kidding me?”

“and you say you’re straight.”

“i am, but my so-called gaydar is a hell of a lot better than yours,” noah retorts. “i think you should try and get back at him.”

“you mean…?”

“flirt back, you meathead. jesus, how many times have you smacked your head after biffing a trick?”

_take me back to the basics and the simple life_

_tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease_

noah discovers, quite quickly, that cooper is _absolutely shit_ at flirting. he tries to help - really! he does - but the fact that cooper nearly melts when ted even _looks_ in his general direction really doesn’t make matters better.

the first experiment was the worst - and noah was convinced it couldn’t go more south - but cooper really has a knack for digging himself into holes he can’t get out of.

for example: _last night’s party._

noah counted over the times cooper had tried to flirt - this would be number twenty - and watched warily as cooper hovered in the corner of the room, eyes flickering around the room like the strobes on the wall. cooper’s heart pounded in time with the bass of the song - _it has to be charlie’s playlist,_ he thinks. _i don’t know any of these songs_ \- and takes a sip of his white claw, the shitty half-there taste of tangerine making him wince.

“you’re such a beta, cooper.”

cooper flinches at the sound of ted’s voice, looking at the brunet with a mixed expression. he eyes the stereotypical red solo cup in ted’s hand - beer from the keg outside, he guesses - and tries to avoid ted’s piercing gaze.

“okay beer boy.”

“that’s beer _man_ to you,” ted retorts, knocking his cup against cooper’s can. “and you can’t say shit, claw guzzler.”

cooper laughs, face flushing at the volume. ted shakes it off, opting to wrap an arm around cooper’s shoulder.

“you seem like you’d rather be anywhere other than this party, coop.”

the blond sighs. “yeah, but i promised the guys - ”

“promise, shmomise,” ted replies, leading cooper towards the stairs. “fresh air is good for growing boys.”

“i’m five-nine! fuck you!”

ted laughs, clear and bold, and cooper decides he’d die happily in this moment.

noah sees the two sneak out, watching proudly from the bar.

_your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby_

rose-gold rays of sunset light filter through the sapphire toned clouds lingering over the city, a warm breeze carrying the scent of sea salt, distant parties, and scattered flowers; ted hadn’t learned the name of them yet, but cooper knew them by heart - california poppies, bush sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, and bush mallows. the duo settles into a far corner of the roof set-up, drinks still clutched in loose grips. they linger in silence, curled up on opposite sides of the couch.

ted breaks first. “are you okay?”

cooper hesitates. “yeah. just, um, needed some air. it’s just … y’know … kinda loud - ”

“since when is a party too loud for you?” ted teases, looking over his glasses at the blond. “i mean, c’mon, you’re _cooper_. you’re always the loudest motherfucker there - ”

he pauses when the boy sniffles, his heart burning when tears glisten in the blond’s eyes. the former leaves his beer on the coffee table, quickly moving to sit beside the latter.

“hey, hey, i’m sorry,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around cooper. “i was just trying to distract you, i didn’t mean - ”

“can we get out of here?”

ted’s heart skips. “y-yeah. we can take my car. anywhere you wanna go?”

“the seven-eleven down the road,” cooper murmurs. “then i wanna show you my favorite beach.”

“yeah. yeah, we can do that,” ted agrees, absentmindedly taking the blond’s hand. “c’mon, scoop.”

the sun slowly begins to drink the ocean swells when the duo pulls into the seven-eleven parking lot. ted puts his truck in park, but lets the engine idle.

“what do you want?”

“i can get it - ”

“my treat,” ted interjects, taking cooper’s hand. “seriously.”

cooper flushes, squirming under ted’s intense gaze. he reluctantly pulls his hand from ted’s, heart pounding as he stares down at his chewed nails.

“blue raspberry slurpee,” he decides. “and skittles.”

ted beams, ruffling cooper’s hair before slipping out of the driver’s seat. cooper watches him disappear into the stereotypical convenience store, catching glimpses of his god-awful eighties-esque windbreaker every so often. cooper checks his phone for a moment, his head flicking up at the sound of the driver’s side door opening.

“ooooone bloop razzle and skittles for the handsome blond next door, with a side of fuego takis,” ted announces, sliding into the driver’s seat before handing cooper the bag. “and a cherrysthebomb.com, apple livewires, and kettle corn for me.”

cooper blushes at the compliment, taking a sip of his slurpee once ted passes it to him. the former shyly admires the latter as he shifts the truck into drive, smoothly guiding the vehicle out of the parking lot and back onto the busy freeway. his eyes slowly trail the semi-sharp edge of ted’s jaw, gaze lingering on his lips before he snaps back to attention.

“like what you see?” ted purrs, his sight seemingly focused on the road before them.

cooper swallows roughly. “maybe.”

the blond’s heart warms at the smile on ted’s face, and returns to giving directions to his favorite place in california.

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

“crystal cove?”

“the tides are low right now,” cooper replies, climbing out of the truck once ted parks. “so we could hike out to the hidden islands.”

“that sounds so cryptic, dude.”

“it really isn’t - it’s just the way the cycle works. and the stone should be dry, since the tides have been down for the last few days. i can grab the blanket i brought so we aren’t putting our asses right on the stone.”

ted nods, picking up the plastic bag of snacks from the floor of the passenger side. cooper peeks into the back of the truck, picking up the blanket before eyeing something else.

“you have hammocks back here?”

“oh, yeah,” ted says, hiking himself up into the truck bed. “i used to do a ton of camping back home - since maine is literally all forests - and i guess i forgot these back here.”

“well, if you want,” cooper adds, dragging out the ‘a’. “we could camp out here? there’s some caves on the other side of the seawall that are accessible at both high and low tide - but you have to swim at high tide.”

“consider me intrigued,” ted confirms, and picks up the hammocks. “lead the way, goldie.”

“okay, when you said the stone would be dry - ”

“y’know, i thought it would be,” cooper retorts, looking forlornly at his soaked form. “but, hey, i’m like a weatherman; ninety-nine percent wrong, but i still keep my job.”

ted snorts, half-assedly wringing out the blanket before giving up and throwing it over his shoulders. he ties the seven-eleven bag to his belt loop, and retrieves the somehow bone-dry hammocks, and the slurpees.

“let’s just find the caves, yeah?”

cooper nods. “some of them have freshwater pools in them - which, not sure how that works - but we could dunk the blanket in there and maybe find a way to hang it and let it dry?”

ted agrees, and the duo begins their trek to the caves. they face dead-end cave after dead-end cave, until cooper finally stumbles upon a cave with a pool. sea glass stalagmites and stalactites litter the mouth, glimmering green, teal, and ice blue in the late twilight sun.

“welcome to _casa de los cristales_ ,” cooper declares, grinning as ted ducks into the cave. “i love these caves more than weed - which says a lot, if i’m honest.”

“i thought you couldn’t speak spanish,” ted murmurs, eyes wide with awe at his surroundings. “what else are you hiding, goldie?”

“well, i can’t tell you _all_ of my secrets,” cooper replies, slipping past ted and into the grotto. “i gotta have _something_ for myself at the end of the day.”

the brunet laughs, but grows distracted once more by the beauty of the crystalized cave. cooper steals a hammock from his grasp, and hunts for a spot by the pool to set up camp. once the deep red hammock sits a comfortable distance from the ground - supported by two large stalagmites - he lets himself get lost in the glitz of the cave. a few small holes pepper the roof, allowing the now citrine-stained rays of sunlight to seep light into the green-blue glass of the walls and parts of the floor. cool grey stone patches the rest of the cave together, but the rim of the freshwater pond is lined with smooth beige and sable-toned sand. by the time he comes back to his surroundings, he’s greeted with ted stripping down to his boxer briefs and leaping into the pool. the brunet resurfaces with a flourish, shaking his hair from his eyes with a dramatic flip of his head. cooper watches in near-awe, admiring the way the glass of the cave refracts golden light onto ted’s form, the shivering rivulets of water like streams of diamonds on his pale skin. he shakes himself from his delirium a moment later, opting to ditch his own clothes at the foot of his hammock before careening into the pool.

“cowabunga, motherfucker!”

ted howls with laughter, shielding his face as cooper cannonballs into the clear, clean water. he watches as cooper swims circles around him, seemingly unbothered by having his eyes open underwater. the blond resurfaces after a moment, breathing like he’d never even gone under in the first place.

“how do you hold your breath for so long?”  
“when you grow up two seconds from literally any beach, you learn fast,” he replies. “never know when you’ll get stuck in a current.”  
ted nods. “record?”  
“two minutes, forty-seven seconds.”

“crazy,” ted murmurs, desperately trying to distract himself from the warmth radiating off of cooper’s warm, toned and tan chest. “you really are a fish, huh?”

“nah baby, i’m a shark,” cooper teases, eyes glowing with mischief as he slowly floats behind ted, drinking in the way the brunet shivers as the blond trails his fingers over the former’s back. “always waiting for the moment to _strike_.”

he dunks ted in that moment, giggling when he resurfaces with a gasp. ted leaps towards the blond, tackling him into the water in a flurry of limbs and waves. the duo wrestles wildly, laughter and shouts intertwining with the crashing of waves both inside and outside of the grotto. 

_now i'm down to my skin and bones_

_my baby listens to me on the phone_

_but i can't help feeling like i'm all alone, all alone_

“i’ll be back after the weekend.”

cooper’s head ticks up at the sound of ted’s voice. travis watches his friend’s face fall, the blond fidgeting anxiously with the switch controller gripped tightly in his hands.

“is everything okay, ted?”

“family issues,” he replies, his voice clipped. “i really don’t want to talk about it, carson, okay?”

the group flinches when the door slams, and cooper can’t help but long for the boy he’d snuck off with just a few weeks prior - warm, loud, suave, and connected - and he leaps over the back of the couch, and bolts out of the front door.

“ted!”

the tall brunet curses, drawing his face closed with a breath before turning towards the blond. cooper flinches at the cold wall ted’s face had become, stepping backward in response.

“ted, i just needed to - ”

“don’t you know when to quit, cooper?” ted snarls, fists clenched at his sides. “don’t any of you know? i ask to be left alone, ask to work through this in isolation, and yet you follow me like a fucking _dog_ after it’s master? jesus, it’s like you’re in love with me or something!”

cooper freezes, throat clenching as his eyes became the sea. ted’s stone face drops, realization clicking on his face when cooper begins to cry.

“cooper, i - ”

“ _don’t!_ ” he howls, pacing further backwards, eyes flicking towards the street. “you got what you wanted, didn’t you? so go! get the fuck out of here!”

ted watches helplessly as cooper bolts down the road, heart breaking as travis runs out after him.

“ _coopie!_ ”

but the blond keeps running, disappearing down the hill towards the coves. travis turns to ted, a vicious, depressed fury on his face that the latter had never seen, but had already grown to fear.

“you really had to do that, huh?” travis cries. “he cares so much about you, and you tear him apart? i hate to say it like this, but i can’t think of anything else. you’re a _shitty_ friend.”

and on that last note, travis races after cooper, screaming his name until his throat went raw.

_the truth is, the stars are falling, babe_

_and i'd never ever thought that i would say_

_i'm afraid of the life that i've made, i've made_

“shouldn’t cooper be back by now?”

travis looks forlornly at cooper’s normal spot at the table, and pokes his dinner listlessly. the house is quieter without cooper and ted, and the air is emptier without their incessant flirting.

“i think we should go look for him,” schlatt offers, tossing his fork onto his plate. “ _and_ figure out where ted went.”

carson’s brows furrow. “he’s heading back home.”

“nope,” charlie replies, settling at the end of the table with a notepad, phone, and pen. “he’s at a motel in santa monica.”

the boys whirl to look at him, confusion and disbelief laid plainly on their faces.

“carson,” charlie starts, pointing his pen at the boy. “remember that off-character joke ted made during that round of uno?”

carson thinks for a moment. “the one like ‘if i lose this chance, i’m dropping everything’ ?”

“yes! okay, travis, what about when you, him, and cooper were playing csgo?”

“he barely said anything,” travis murmurs. “except for stuff that didn’t really fit with the jokes we were making. or just the game itself.”

“like?”

“wanting to escape,” travis says. “and like he made a wrong decision.”

charlie hums, writing down the details. the rest of the club huddles around him as he scribbles frantically, flying back to their seats once charlie shouts “ _eureka!_ ”

“yesterday, ted had ‘santa monica dream’ by angus & julia stone on loop for four hours,” he says, pointing to random spits of information on the notepad. “i also saw him looking into motels in that area. when i asked him about it, he nearly ripped off my head and shouted ‘i need time to think!’. i think … i think something happened between him and cooper when they left that night of the party.”

schlatt raises a brow. “they left?”

“i saw them go up to the roof,” noah adds, taking the notepad and pen from charlie before scribbling down the detail. “i thought i heard cooper crying when i went up there.”

“did anyone see them leave? or see where they went?”

“cooper tweeted while they were gone,” travis says, flicking through twitter. “yeah, right here! ‘parties are overrated’. location … the seven-eleven on dyer avenue.”

charlie quickly scratches that down. “where else could they have gone? we didn’t see them until the next morning.”

travis thinks for a moment. “well … when cooper gets stressed out, he likes to go to the crystal cove park, which isn’t super far from here _or_ the seven-eleven. sometimes he’ll hide out in the caves on the bottom of the bluffs. but he said that’s _his_ place. that he wouldn’t let anyone else come with him, not even me.”

“circumstances change when love is involved,” schlatt says, and grabs the notepad. “so if you take cooper … add the caves … and ted … with emotions running high …” he trails off for a moment, focused on scribbling wildy on the paper. “cooper’s in love with ted, and terrified that he doesn’t reciprocate.”

“and how the fuck do you figure that out?” noah blurts, looking over the paper. “you just wrote a bunch of bullshit.”

“when you fall for the wrong type too many times, you see the patterns.”

“are you saying ted isn’t right for cooper?”

“what i _am_ saying is, if you’d let me finish,” schlatt sneers. “is that ted _does_ like cooper back. but he isn’t sure where he is on the spectrum, how his fans will react, and if cooper even likes him.”

carson snorts. “how can he not know?”

“rose-colored lenses can make you question anything when they turn green.”

“you mean …”

“ted is jealous of noah and travis.”

“ _what?!_ ” the duo exclaims, nearly bowling schlatt over.

“you two spend the most time with cooper. ted probably thinks one of you has more of a chance than he does.”

“well … i’m not into cooper,” noah says. “and travis is … travis.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“focus!” charlie shouts. “travis, noah, i’m assigning you to operation _bring cooper home_. carson, schlatt, you’re coming with me to santa monica. when travis and noah get cooper, they’ll drive him up to santa monica, meet us at ted’s motel, and drop him off. we leave in my car, leave cooper and ted together to sort their shit out, and let them come back on their own terms. are we clear?”

the rest of the group shouts in agreement, splitting off into their separate vehicles.

“hey, remember!” charlie calls, alerting the rest of the group. “we’re mending hearts, not breaking them!”

_but all this driving_

_is driving me crazy_

_and all this moving_

_is proving to get the best of me_

“cooper!”

noah runs after travis, boots thumping on the wooden pathway. travis tears down the shoreline, sand flying wildly as he calls out for his best friend. he disappears around the corner of the bluff, ignoring noah’s curses as he fights to keep up. he skids to a stop when travis stops in his tracks, eyes scanning the various cave openings.

“how the hell are we supposed to know which cave is the right one?” noah wheezes, defeat weighing in his voice. “there’s dozens of them here!”

“cooper spilled the story to me when he came home the next morning,” travis admits. “he said something about the cave mouth looking like it was made out of glass.”

“sea glass!” noah shouts, running ahead. “what colors?”

“green, teal, and ice blue!”

“here!”

travis catches up quickly, and the two of them linger at the mouth of the picturesque cave. they hesitate, straining to see if they can catch a glimpse of the lovelorn blond.

“it’s almost nine,” travis says quietly. “the sun’ll be setting around ten-thirty.”

“let’s go get our friend back, then.”

_and i've been trying to hide it_

_but lately_

_every time i think i'm better_

_pickin' my head up, getting nowhere_

“do you _really_ think ted is gonna let any of us, _especially_ cooper, just waltz into his motel room?”

charlie flicks schlatt’s ear, barely looking up from the directions. the two bicker for a moment, broken up by carson taking a corner just a little too sharp.

“are you trying to kill us?!”

“i’m _trying_ to mediate as best as i can while also driving!” carson retorts, stabilizing the car. “charlie, where am i going next?”

“exit one-a,” he says. “then hit olympic drive, and it should be on our right.”

“ _ocean lodge_. this place has ted vibes.”

“how is that, schlatt?”

he deadpans, raising an eyebrow. “it literally looks like it was dragged out of a fifties teen beach movie.”

the trio looks over the building, the white paint turning a pastel orange in the light of the sunset.

“so … which room is ted’s?”

“room 127.”

the boys slowly turn around, wincing at the sound of ted’s voice.

“why the hell are you guys here?” he snaps, holding up a hand when they begin. “actually, i don’t really care. i told you guys to leave me alone, you were too stubborn to listen, and now - ”

“we can’t find cooper.”

ted freezes, eyes locking onto schlatt’s determined face.

“what?”

“cooper’s fucking gone,” schlatt growls, poking ted’s chest with his finger. “and who saw him last? _you_ . you were so concerned about the improbable consequences for yourself that you _failed_ to think about the effects on anyone else involved.”

“noah and travis are looking for him as we speak,” charlie adds, a - rare - serious expression on his face. “as soon as they find him - _if_ they can - they’re driving him up here, and you two are going to be left alone so you can work this out. you know, _like the adults you are_.”

carson’s phone rings a moment later, noah’s picture filling the screen.

“yeah. yeah, he’s here. he’s being stubborn too,” carson adds, narrowing his eyes at ted. “how’s cooper? he’s okay? good. get up here. we’ll keep ted planted until you guys get here.” the line is quiet for a moment. “fifteen minutes? okay. bye.”

“do i get a say in this?”

“you had your chance at a say when you blew cooper off and sent him crying to the coves.” schlatt spits.

the group is quiet for a while, leaving carson to anxiously watch the road.

_take me back to the basics and the simple life_

_tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease_

“where are we going, noah.” cooper demands, his voice still choked. “we passed the house ages ago. spill.”

“carson told us not to say anything,” travis replies. “i’m sorry.”

cooper curls up in the backseat, resting his head against the window. he hears the dial of noah’s phone, and perks his ears to the conversation.

“we found him. is ted there?”

cooper flinches, but continues to listen anyways.

“why am i not surprised. cooper?” noah looks at the blond through the rearview, catching his eyes. “he’s alright.” noah stops for a moment as carson’s muffled voice slips from the speakers. “we’ll be there in fifteen minutes. yeah. see you then.”

noah hangs up soon after, dropping his phone into the cupholder. the turn signal clicks as noah hits the exit ramp, and cooper suddenly becomes familiar with the surroundings.

“santa monica?”

_your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby_

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

cooper seethes with quiet resentment as the car pulls into the parking lot of the motel, his face darkening further when his eyes land on ted. the trio exit the car, noah and travis boxing cooper in so he can’t bolt.

“why the hell am i here,” cooper snarls, his voice weak. “did you all want a grand re-enactment of what happened back at the house? is that it?”

“no,” carson retorts. “we want the two of you to talk like the adults that you are. something’s off between the two of you - it has been for a while. all of us - myself included - want it figured out. for friendships sakes, and the channel’s sake.”

“it’s all about what you want, isn’t it.”

“this isn’t about me, and you know it. you’re backpedaling.”

“i think i should get a say in this,” ted demands. “i’m apparently a key point in this, so -”

“yeah, your say is that you and cooper are going to work out your shit,” charlie says. “get in the hotel room. we’ll give you five minutes. that’s it.”

_i've been lyin' to them all_

_i don't need it anymore_

the room is silent once the door shuts, spare for the simmering static on the retro television and the distant crash of the ocean.

neither of the men want the first word.

cooper picks at his nails at the dining table in the far corner, while ted sits on the bed in the other corner of the room, facing the wall.

he breaks.

“what the fuck are you so afraid of?”

_don't you worry about me_

_i'll be fine if i can breathe_

ted stays silent, the stone-like mask of indifference still snug on his face.

“this is it, huh? after how many years of friendship, this is your breaking point?” cooper stands up, moving closer to ted. “you refuse to talk, so you stare at the wall like a fucking child that isn’t getting the toy he wants? is this the pathetic low you’ve decided to settle at? didn’t wanna play with my heart anymore, so you moved on to _bigger_ and _better_ things?” 

the blond stands directly in ted’s peripheral now, fists clenched tightly at his sides.

“i guess i get it,” he mutters, voice fading as his fight fades. “once you get the prize, it isn’t fun anymore.”

he stands steady when ted turns to face him, but his heart twinges at the tears that break the facade.

“you don’t understand - ”

“i don’t understand? _i_ don’t understand?!” cooper roars, his temper flaring. “ _what_ in this situation is there for _me_ to not get? fill me in, theodore. since you seem to have a perfect grasp on every little fucking piece of information around you.”

_i've been hidin' for too long_

_taking shit for how i'm wrong_

“ _i’m in love with you, okay?!_ i have been since the day we met,” ted shouts, dropping to his knees in front of cooper. “i drove up here so i could think of the perfect way to tell you. for the longest time i thought - no, i _convinced_ myself - that it was strictly platonic, because i was convinced you were straight. when you came out, it all clicked. that night in the caves kicked it all into place, too. but as time went on i talked myself into thinking i was full of shit. that i was straight, and i just needed to stop baiting my friend. i was mad at myself for what happened. i’m sorry, cooper. i really am.”

cooper drops to his level, the carpet scratching his knees. “then why did you run?”

“i was … i was scared,” ted murmurs, eyes focused on the blond in front of him. “you made it look so easy, but i - i felt like that wasn’t meant for me. that freedom. that … _love._ i never felt like i deserved anything. especially you.”

“so all the flirting, all the playing around …”

“... was me testing my limits,” ted finishes. “i’m sorry i made you feel like a pawn, cooper.”

_how i'm wrong_

_always wrong_

cooper sits back on his heels, staring at the floor while his thoughts race wildly around his head.

“so you actually like me?”

“yeah,” ted breathes. “i do.”

cooper laughs. “thank fucking god, i was starting to feel like an idiot.”

“what?”

“did you never notice how much of an idiot i am around you? i act like a fuckin’ high schooler when you’re around.”

“well it’s not like i did much to help you avoid that,” the brunet snorts, a grin on his face. “nicknames and shit just came naturally with you around.”

“so the whole ‘nude beaches thing’ …?”

“i was _really_ hoping you wouldn’t remember that.”

“i dunno man, i’m down if you are.”

_take me back to the basics and the simple life_

_tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease_

the two pause for a moment, breaking into wild laughter immediately after. ted stands from the floor, and helps cooper up. peeking out of the window, he laughs again.

“what?”

“they ditched you, man. you’re stuck with me.”

“well, it can’t be _that_ bad, can it? it’s getting late anyway.”

“you want the bed?”

“we can share it, dumbass.”

“what is this, a fanfiction?”

“it’s me being nice, and …” cooper trails off, staring at his feet.

“and?”

cooper murmurs an answer under his breath.

_your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby_

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

“what?”

the blond takes a breath. “maybe i want to cuddle with the guy i love?”

ted winks. “i think i can work with that.”

cooper smiles, grin growing wider when ted pulls him into a warm hug. the two part at the last moment, and quickly get ready for bed, crawling under the cool blankets.

“wait, you sleep with socks on?” cooper teases.

“of course. don’t need the demons stealing my toes.”

cooper snorts, letting his head rest in the crook of ted’s neck, his nose against his collarbone. the two shift quietly, getting comfortable for the night.

“hey.”

“hmm,” cooper replies, smiling at the rumble of ted’s voice against his skin.

“what made you fall for me, out of all the people in the world?”

“well,” he says, shivering when ted’s thumb brushes over his side. “the first thing was your voice. something about the low tone just hit different.”

“okay bottom.”

“fuck you.”

“maybe another time,” he purrs, laughing when cooper blushes. “what else?”

“your humor. and how much of a dad you are - there’s just something really endearing about that.”

“you just like that i can cook.”

cooper laughs. “maybe. what about you?”

“i liked watching your skate tricks - your focus and skill is really admirable. and your laugh is cute.”

“cheeseball.”

“hey, you’re the one that called me a dad.”

“papi~”

“don’t make me shove you off this bed.”

the blond cackles, snaking his arms around ted’s chest. his heart skips when ted kisses his forehead gently, and pulls him closer.

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

“goodnight, cooper.”

“g’night, ted.”

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

_(take me back to the basics and the simple life)_

the two boys returned to the clubhouse the following monday, hands linked and faces aglow. cooper couldn’t escape noah after he’d taken off his hoodie.

“so ted’s a biter, huh?”

cooper chokes on his cereal, face nearly glowing with a blush.

noah laughs. “you asked for it, man.”

“he’s also got claws,” ted adds, strolling into the kitchen. “better watch out.”

the blond swings at his - _his_ \- boyfriend, and buries his face in his hands. the brunet laughs, picking up his breakfast before sitting down next to cooper.

“c’mon, it’s cute,” ted teases. “when you aren’t drawing blood, of course.”

noah cringes. “okay, okay, i can tell when i need to go.”

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

_(tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease)_

cooper faces ted once noah leaves. “you’re terrible.”

“what? i can’t want time alone with my boyfriend?”

“you had all weekend with me!”

“yeah? well, we’re making up for lost time.”

cooper shakes his head, but melts when ted kisses him nevertheless.

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

_(your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby)_

“you think they’re gonna be okay?”

schlatt looks into the kitchen, scrunching his nose at the steadily heating up kiss.

“i think so.”

“and what about us, my friend?”

the new yorker looks at the garden state native, and smiles.

“we have a road trip to plan.”

_holdin' on tight and sleepin' at night_

**Author's Note:**

> HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS ONE TOOK ME FOREVER AND IDK WHY
> 
> HI !! i'm finally back!! life has been hectic as hell for me, but it feels good to get back in the writing saddle. i have plenty more stories on the way - trust me. i just have to graduate this weekend, then we'll be on our way :)
> 
> ps - the end paragraph of this fic may be reference to a new fic coming soon ;)


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